Sensuality is one of the greatest faculties we as human beings possess. Unlike many who believe sensuality is something only few possess, it is a faculty which can be learned. Learning it however requires skill and the total surrender of your misconceived inhibitions. In order to embrace your sensuality you need to be at harmony with your surroundings, to feel secure, to feel you can trust your partner with your inner world; more importantly trust yourself and feel comfortable in your own skin.
Some people attribute sensuality to women and sexuality to men; the truth is both sexes carry within them a certain amount of each. The mistaken belief that only women can be sensual and only men can be sexual is due to preconceived old beliefs imposed upon both genders during childhood/early adulthood. We’ve been conditioned socially and culturally to follow certain “traits” which are gender specific.
Both men and women can and should explore their sensuality. For men it is important to recognize and understand being sensual does not equal to being less of a man. Obviously female sensuality is more delicate, evident, and accepted socially. Sensuality within men expresses itself a bit differently: Gallant, virile, educated, polite–these are only a few of the characteristics in which sensuality expresses itself in men.
Sensuality within a couple should be deeply entrenched with sexuality. The first awakens innovation, curiosity and imagination because unlike sexuality it is not limited; sexuality then is sensuality’s perfect compliment. Only those who truly understand this can fully enjoy a deep fulfilling relationship.
Sensuality incorporates all senses. The principal function of our senses is to permit us to relate to our surroundings. If we learn to use them effectively our senses can turn into the pure essence of our soul, ready to awaken passions and bring triumph to the complicated art of “love” relationships. Think about how one elegant suggestive look, a deep erotic sigh close to your lover’s ear or a well placed caress can express more about you than a thousand words could.
If you want to revitalize your sexual life it is important to keep the following in mind:
1. Sight: Our eyes can express different range and intensity of emotions, therefore it is important to remember what effects our eyes can have on other people. Knowing and mastering this can help arise feelings of sensuality in anyone. In order however to partner this with meaningful sexuality, your look will have to be match by your other senses and more importantly by your mind! Intelligence is without competition, as it is the sexiest long lasting way to create and maintain a connection with others.
2. Taste: A meaningful kiss is still one of life’s greatest pleasures. The exchange of affection which takes place when we kiss, determines the awakening of the rest of our senses. Pay attention to your oral hygiene; bad breath is a huge turn off.
3. Touch: Through touch you can explore your body and your partner’s. A well placed classy touch on a specific “zone” can create a very desirable effect.
4. Smell: The smell of your body can awaken deep desires within your partner, it also says a lot about who you are. It is important to remember strong smells only create discomfort and are too difficult and overpowering to bear.
5. Hearing: There are a lot of sounds that have a very deep erotic character: Moaning, panting, even the sound of a passionate kiss carries a sound that can awaken passions within another.
A sensual person is one who provokes attraction or reactions to the senses of another; whether sexual excitement, desire to make love, desire to connect, etc. In general those with a strong sexual potency tend to have a deep acute sensuality (High sexual potency is not the same thing as being loud and disgusting in the way you insinuate yourself to another) Many times a deeply sensual person themselves is not aware of the reaction he/she can awaken in others.
Sensuality is born out of two different origins; one is found in the exterior and one in the interior.
Sensual interior power is born out of our thoughts, sexual energy, feelings and from personal magnetism reflected on our words and personality.
Let us now see how you can transform each one of these aspects to awaken sensuality:
1. Thoughts: Thoughts convey and reflect on others whatever response we wish to evoke. A sensual thought is a positive one which can illuminate another’s soul; is a wish which has the power to attract people. It is obvious that to receive you must be willing to first give; many people only like to receive, this will only cause others to get bored of you. If you hold the belief you should only receive, then you are certainly not going to be able to awaken your sensuality. You may be able to fake something for a day but reality is sensuality is intense and pure, as such it belongs to those willing to live in a balanced state of giving and receiving.
2. Feelings: Although human beings seek logic, it is a learned attribute. In our natural state we are emotional creatures; it is our emotions which can lead us to expand our logic or not. Emotions cause us to react and to move forward.
If you can react from your loving emotions and speak about them, you will be able to evoke deep emotions within your partner as well as desire. Each gesture, each caress, each behavior will then carry with it a deep sensuality.
3. Sexuality: People with acute sexual energy also tend to be more sensual than others. You can notice this concept if you pay attention to when you are sexually excited; you then feel a deep intense energy which becomes your sole focus and priority until your sexual need/energy is satisfied. At those specific moments your ability to seduce is heightened; one can see that sensuality is a very intense energy which can be transferred. If you can learn to heightened your sensual energy, you can augment your capacity for seduction–keep in mind real sensuality is not something that can be faked, it is not cheap and vulgar yet it remains uninhibited.
4. Personal Magnetism: A sensual person possesses an intense personal magnetism. Only those who are capable of mastering their sensuality are capable of the ability to seduce long term in a way that is enviable by others.
The power of exterior sensuality emanates from the way you are, the way you dress, your attitude, the way you speak, the way you look at others. Let’s look at each in more detail…
1. The way you are: The way you are reveals who you are and where you come from; your level of intelligence and education. This will provoke either jealousy or pity. Do not pretend to be something you are not or compare yourself to others. Remember, if you choose to create a congenial personality to please everyone, with time others will notice and it won’t reflect good on you. Learn to get to know yourself, that way your will develop healthy self esteem. Healthy self esteem is not the pretense of not having any wounds or issues to deal with but rather the ability to be yourself whether or not others will approve of your authenticity.
2. The way you dress: The way you dress is your letter of introduction. Normally people dress up according to their personality, therefore it is hard to give advice on this subject. Make sure that your clothes reflect you not what you think others want or expect of you. Try to dress accordingly to whatever situation you are faced with; you can do this without losing your personal style. Try to pick vibrant colours as these tend to uplift moods. Try to pick clothing that fits you properly and in which you are comfortable, remember that if you don’t feel comfortable in your own clothing, it will affect how you carry yourself and others will notice.
3. The way you speak: Try to speak vocalizing your words and not in a hurried manner. Speaking too fast provokes tension among others. The way you speak can be greatly influenced by the extent of your vocabulary. Keep your tone natural and genuine, all you want to do is work on the aspects of how you talk to others.
4. The way you look at others: The eyes are the gateway to our soul. It reveals your inner state: Sadness, happiness, joy, desire, etc. Is there anything more sensual than the look of love between a man and a woman? Is there anything more sensual than the intense look of desire? It is worth it then to have an intense gaze which reflects your personality and sensuality, without losing who you are. I canot emphasize this enough “a sensual look is not the same as a cheap pornograhic look”–Again the key here is to cultivate, not to pretend.
5. The way you move: If you walk slouched it is a guarantee you’ll inspire pity. If your mannerisms are sharp and dry , you probably inspire fear instead of love. These are just two simple examples to prove the power the way you move and carry yourself. Little will it matter what you say or how you say it, if your body language, the way you carry yourself is a poor one. It is important to be proud of who you are. Don’t confuse this with taking the other extreme and becoming loud, obnoxious and trying to be noticed by every person out there. Usually that type of behavior only gets noticed by others who will either criticize or who simply want to use you without any real desire to get to know you.
Too many men and specially too many women carry themselves trying to be the “life” of the party; they end up taking it too far. They get too loud, dress to an extreme and usually don’t have anything valuable in their topic of conversation. They seem to think that is confidence; they don’t seem to realize that is exactly what the majority of people who don’t know themselves do…. Authentic is where is at!
You want to arise curiosity, nothing more. When it comes to who you are, you should be an enigma to others except those close to you, that shows that you value yourself. Value is not determine by how much you can cover up or how much you can expose; it is revealed by who you are behind the vessel that is your body. Being an enigma shows that many people may be acquainted with you but only few who are close know you. It shows you don’t need to try to show off by being loud because you know your value and that you don’t need to be surrounded all the time by people in order to get a false sense of validation.
Usually people possess one or the other form of sensuality but to have both internal and external is a rarity. So cultivate all aspects of you; mind, body and soul.
Remember that anyone can dress up, anyone can pretend but intelligence and genuine personality will take you far!