Tantra is know by millions of people for its sexual positions but rarely do people actually understand its origins, its psychology or its benefits. Most people miss on what Tantra really is and how it can help their lives if they were to dive into it with respect and reverence for this ancient practice. It is just as important; if being mentored; to have a guide who understands what Tantra really is, as there are too many practitioners out there who erroneously teach sexology and call it Tantra; worst yet, they teach depravity and call it “Dark Tantra”. In the past I have written about the origins of Tantra and what it is. Today I would like to look more at the common sexual practice between two loving partners and Tantra from the allegorical perspective as well as its alchemical steps.
Tantra believes in the power of the sexual energy. It believes people can tap into this energy to help heal traumas and to self develop; hence Tantra is not just plain sexuality.
When the body and mind have been traumatized, the trauma is imprinted not only on a psychological level but at a cellular level, as such Tantra focuses on healing the body, guiding it to release the emotions so that the mind can be healed without the body putting up a fight.
Tantra uses the story of creation “Adam and Eve” as an allegorical one. To Tantra the apple in the garden represents the first Chakra; the apple is red equating to the first root chakra which Taoism represents as red and about 5cm in diameter. The snake which is represented in the east as the coiled snake is the Kundalini energy. Such energy is found dormant in the spinal cord where the “snake” wraps itself up, waiting to be awaken. Hence religions chose to blame the snake for tempting Adam and Eve, and why it is label as “diabolical”; because of its tremendous power. However like all powerful energy, Kundalini energy is neutral and can be used for our own betterment or destruction. The Kundalini energy starts from the sacrum to the cranium, in order to illuminate our consciousness; again let me emphasize that Kundalini energy or sexual energy can be quite destructive when misused.
Modern Society contributes tremendously to feeding the animal self, by feeding the mind “lust” instead of “desire”, by doing so, the order of the Kundalini energy is inverted from head to sacrum. Inverting the energy flow can provide human beings with a momentary feeling of ecstasy followed by energy depletion and in many cases; after the orgasm; people can experience many degrees of shame.
It is of vital importance to focus, guide and transmute the sexual energy. People who desire a different level of sexuality often aim at ruling their kundalini energy rather than to be ruled by it. When the sexual energy is abused, people often experience blocks, inability to perform or uncontrolled lust. We are energy and tend to attract our lovers based on how we perceive our sexuality. When two lovers of different frequencies get together, the sexual encounter can be unsatisfactory; this usually means one lover is vibrating at a higher vibration while the other may be in animal state (this law does not apply to people who simply cannot enjoy sexuality due to unreleased traumas).
If we can begin to understand how powerful our sexual energy is, then we can start to seek to rule it instead of controlling it. It is impossible to control such energy, to do so often results in worst blockages– as to control usually means to supress. That explains why many “masters” who have lived in isolation or secluded when confronted by the world often fail to pass the “temptations” the modern world provides. When one rules the Kundalini, one does not need to seclude nor isolate, as one has become the master of his or her own sexuality and no amount of “temptation” will shake such a person’s ground; that is because his or her growth is rooted on the transmutation of the animal within, aiming towards the divine. Tantra then recognizes the divine without severing it from sexuality as many religious practices do. Religion often seeks to control rather than to transmute, as a result many of its followers live in a permanent state of dissociation between what they preach and the animal side found within.
Tantric practices can include breathing techniques, dance, special bio-energetic exercises, and the use of sexual energy to elevate our frequencies. Such practices contribute to a very strong, luminous and magnetic state which is why people who are real Tantrics, are interested in mature sensuality over immature sexuality– or cheap pornographic behaviour.
Tantra embraces sensuality while it rejects the constant abusing of self by many men or women, who think that to abuse their minds and bodies are the only way to obtain attention. Sensuality gives birth to arousal, desire, wanting to know and feel more, wanting to be part of. Sexual behavior gives birth to momentary lust, often forgettable by the time the next sexual person or image is presented.
When one taps into the Kundalini energy, one starts to generate creative energy. Many people experience a sample of this at the beginning of a relationship or while in pursue of a new lover, however because they often don’t transmute the energy, little by little it fades away. That is why it is important to understand that the Kundalini energy is more than just body parts getting together…it is physical, mental, etheric and spiritual. That is why even psychology focuses on the importance of being real with your partner rather than to try to impress your partner. It also focuses on trying to teach the importance of constant introspection, as well as not forgetting the little or big things which contributed to the birth of the relationship in the first place.
It is important not to ever undertake Tantra without conviction to follow true, as once you awaken the Kundalini energy from its dormant or animal state; if not guided; it can be quite destructive affecting one physically as well as emotionally.
Although in sex there is never an absolute rule or a map of how to do it, we can improve and enhance our relationships by following certain guidelines which will indicate that we are making love with intelligence and not in an animalistic way. Passionate instinctive love isn’t the same as animal sex.
Let me now share with you a few principles of Tantric Sexuality:
*Make love regularly, especially in the morning before work or in the afternoon. This causes the body to vibrate and fill itself with life and energy. Do not leave it until the last moment of the night as by then the body has consumed most of its energy.
*Maintain a smooth rhythm to be aware and present in the moment without letting the animal instinct dominate the act. As you build a connection with your partner physically and emotionally, your tantric sexuality can become more adventurous without ruining the heart connection. Most people start on the other end of the spectrum, as such over time the initial “fun” or “connection” is lost.
*It is not always necessary to reach an orgasm with ejaculation. Is is very much possible and quite enjoyable to reach an orgasm without ejaculation, this seems to be easier for men as they age, often referring to their orgasms as much more intense than when they used to ejaculate. Men who are more advance in their Tantric path often release once every ten sexual acts. Women can do the same, however it is harder for a woman not to let her juices flow once she orgasm. Instead women should focus on delaying the orgasm as much as they can, riding the waves until the last possible moment in order to experience the “wave of happiness”; doing so also revitalizes the whole body; specially the brain; so long as you are in the moment and not flying mentally somewhere else or focused on trying to impress your partner. Conscious sexual partners can satisfy one another without being focused on impressing each other because they have taken the time to learn about each other, mentally, spiritually and about their physical erotic buttons.
*Stop or slow down every ten minutes or so if you can, and apply breathing techniques; while breathing deeply, caress each other. Lower the excitement in order to go back up a higher hill. Remember that what you are seeking is not a quick orgasm but a hyper orgasm….keep your desire burning.
*A week of sexual fasting is recommended every two months, in order to accumulate new energy and enhance desire.
*Have a physical and energetic training program– one hour daily–that may include yoga, meditation, physical exercise, massage, dance, painting or whatever you like the most. Paying attention to our creative energy will enhance our sexual energy and vice versa, it is a symbiotic relationship.
*Enter the sexual act conscious of why you are about to let someone else inside of you, or in the case of being a man, why are you about to enter a woman. It needs to be more than just a physical release, otherwise it is best to self love than to use each other–eventually such behavior can leave either or both parties feeling used and abused.
*Extend sexual games, preparations and preliminaries; I do these all the time and it genuinely helps.
*Men, if you want to awaken real desire from a woman for you vs just quick lust –which she will eventually get tired of–penetrate her very slowly during your first thrust… slowly, feeling the moment….preferably looking into each other’s eyes, aware. This can be quite intimidating, however if you both have a desire to know the other person, it won’t be so scary…regardless take your time, you might not be psychologically ready to let someone in your inner sanctum.
We all have desires…project your desires when you mobilize your energy. You don’t need to fantasize about someone else nor do you need to watch porn in order to know what you really like. Stop being ashamed of what you like and gently give yourself permission to enjoy your desires with the person you are sexually active with. That is why it is important to be real with one another, so as to discover who the other person really is, their needs and their wants.
“Close your eyes my darling, surrender to my touch. Allow your pleasure to heightened, let’s go beyond time, awakening your Kundalini. Meditating with our bodies, sexual energies dance to the divine. Cosmic orgasms arise”
The Tantric Lover