Warrior Within

This is a rough copy of a poem which I am dedicating to anyone who has ever endured a mental or physical abusive relationship. Sometimes when one has endured pain growing up, one tends to accept more pain and abuse as if it was natural. It is not that one goes out looking for abusive manipulative people, unfortunately when the wounds from childhood aren’t healed, they can attract those who seek to feed on them; more often than not they cause the original wound to become deeper.

Sometimes one has to hit rock bottom to understand no one has the right to abuse you. No one has the right to threaten you, to push you, to pretend they are going to choke you or ; as it has been the case for many; even worst.

You are a valuable being. You are stronger than you think and wiser than you have been led to believe. Offering love and compassion to someone isn’t weakness, it’s strength; we just have to learn to differentiate who is worthy of that love and compassion and who is not.

We are all wounded; there are many beautiful souls out there who just need someone to show them their gifts, to show them they can do so much more with their lives in order to thrive–focus on those after you focus on yourself. There are also those whom you are not going to have any impact on; hoping to change them won’t do you any good. They have their path and only they can change themselves; they don’t need you to do so. So please, if you are in an abusive place walk away. Walk and walk…keep walking until there is enough space between you and that person so you may start to breathe again. You may be scare, you may think you will never learn to trust again but if you give yourself permission to cry, to rage, to feel scare, to doubt, little by little as you release those emotions; without calling your self names, without blaming yourself; you will start to heal, you will start to live again. If you need help from someone else or a therapist, don’t hesitate to ask.

You are only responsible for you and your actions; GOOD or BAD OWN them. You are not responsible for any type of abuse imposed on you. Be cautious; for monsters in human skin are often quite charming; but don’t close your heart and don’t give up on your dreams. Your dreams, your passions, your work towards achieving them will get you through❤

I stood by your side

As we watched people go by

I squeezed your cold hands

Your eyes looking at the horizon

I kept hearing the echo of my own voice

Talking, hoping to soothe your soul

You had the face of an angel

Body built by the Gods

Heart dark and twisted

A soul I will forever abhor

You pulled away and turned to look at me

I recognized that look in you eyes

That cold indifferent look

How quickly would prince charming dissapear

Leaving in its place an ugly callous monster

With no care for whom he hurt

My heart skipped a beat

I knew what was to come

All this time I tried to help you

Love and tears my sacrifice

As you suddenly open your mouth

I knew the words would hurt like knifes

Better your words than your hands

As I listened, every word was a blow

You squeezed my hand without care

The pain shooting to my very core

Your inert cold brought to the surface

A being who took pleasure on stabbing my soul

The cruelty of your spirit exposed

I couldn’t scream,

I couldn’t cry,

I looked around and finally realized

There was no helping you

I had to escape and leave you behind.

With all my might I utter the final words

Wounded and hurt was I

Although cripple I walked away

Although afraid I found my might

I knew I had to save myself before it was too late

I had to leave that world

Walking away from everything I had known

Night turned to day

Day turned to night

Dark winter nights without stars

Without the songs of birds

Without the warmth of life

There broken and bruised

I cried myself to sleep at night

A lonely soul in a strange place

Strange faces walked past me

Kind souls offered a smile

My walls and cold stare their welcoming mat

Too afraid to let them in

Too tired to even try

One day I awoke to the smile of our child

Her innocence water to my thirsty soul and mind

I took off the victim’s dress

Letting the inner warrior rise

Many moons since then have gone by

Many suns and rains

Many battles took place

The wounds you left behind

One by one started healing

Their scars a reminder of what was survived

Now you have found me

You called and begged me

I see you as if from a distance

Your words no longer have hold on me

Crocodile tears,

Fake love and smiles

I no longer fear you

I am no longer your slave

I have taken off the shackles

Today I can stand without fear

Time a faithful witness of my hardships

Within my mind memories of your harshness

Today we stand face to face

You claiming to be sorry

Me without a care

I look at you head on

The person you were looking for

No longer lives here

As I walk away I feel light

For there in front of you

I left my armour at your feet

I no longer need the outfit

For the warrior is in me