Sexuality: Understanding Vital Energy

I often have mentioned the importance of understanding energy within sexuality; specifically with sexual partners. We live in an age where too many people engage in empty, meaningless sexual activity, only to end up feeling more depleted than before. This occurs because they do not understand the power of their body’s vital energy.

Vital Energy, can help us transform our lives for the better or it can deplete us faster; depending on how one uses it. Tantra says the person who knows how to handle sex correctly, discovers a wonderful source of energy. What then is the appropriate way to handle sex?

Our sexuality and are our relationships involve an exchange of energy; more importantly however, they are a projection of our own energy. As such if we spend our energy on people who are not developed mentally and sexually, then we are depleting our sources. The energy we think we are absorbing from a superficial or fleeting relationship is simply a mirror illusion of the brain’s mechanical process, in other words a fantasy. When this takes place, the orgasm becomes a mental exercise and is detrimental. Although one might experience a “nice” orgasm, it’s no more than the reflection of our mind’s projection (this process often takes place with pornography).

In those cases, the orgasm is not really a response to a great physical encounter; the sex could have been mediocre at best; but we use our brain resources to try to fool ourselves into believing we enjoyed the orgasm intensely; this type of behavior often leads to the depletion of natural chemicals within our brain and the severing of healthy neurons, while reinforcing unhealthy mechanisms. Eventually the brain won’t be able to function nor deliver these “great” orgasms and because the body has been trained not to react naturally but rather has become dependent of outside sources, one or both people will eventually end up sexually frustrated. Add to this that by behaving in such manner, we are robbing ourselves, we miss the opportunity to experience a quality orgasm; one that feeds the mind, body and spirit instead of depleting them.

A healthy orgasm is ten times more enjoyable than one built on false expectations but like anything else it takes patience, expansion of self and the ability to connect with someone past the superficial level.

The interesting thing about healthy mind blowing orgasms is most people don’t talk about them because they have not experience them. We are currently living in a “sexually free” society yet more than ever people have no idea what a real healthy orgasm feel like. Sexuality is being used as a drug to numb pain or to validate a fragile false ego. The sad part is that in doing so, they are perpetuating the pain while the wounds get deeper. Like any drug, the effects won’t last; that is why learning to value our sexuality is important. One can be sexually empowered, open and uninhibited while being respectful of self; in other words when it comes to sexuality you can have your cake and eat it too, you just got to give yourself value to attract someone of value, then the energy multiplies.

Let’s explore how sexuality can be used to gain or to deplete us of energy. In order to better understand how vital energy within sexuality works and why is important to build rapport, we need to understand how it expresses in both genders….

There is a reason French people call and orgasm within men as “petit mort” or “little death”. There are scientific studies which have proven when men are experiencing an orgasm, the signals the brain emits are similar to the signals a person who is dying emits. Within both sexes, when we experience an orgasm a festival of hormones and neurotransmitters take place: Like oxytocin and dopamine (dopamine is the heroin of the brain) among others. The interesting thing about this cocktail of hormones and neurotransmitters, is that they function very differently within men and women.

To better understand this, let’s explore false beliefs further: People have a common misconception, they believe when a man has had a good orgasm, the next day he supposedly acts as if he was “The Man”; walking with swagger and what not. Tantrics and sexologists know that isn’t reality; the truth is when a man has experienced a great orgasm, he will often look tired the next day (not stressed) but tired, at times others might even think he is depressed.

Men who like to pretend they are experiencing great orgasms often act “cocky” yet they have no idea what a great orgasm is, more often than not their sexual lives are very mechanical. The man whose sexual life is satisfied does not need to act like he is a lady’s man; he has the confidence to be and would rather enjoy deep sexuality with one or two people (if in a polyamory lifestyle) than to constantly go from one person to the next.

On the other hand, when a woman experiences an intense orgasm, the next day she is full of energy, more peaceful and happier. As you can see, the experience of an orgasm works differently on both genders; men get tired, women get energized. Because men experience “petit mort” (little death) when orgasming; releasing lots of neurotransmitters; they automatically feel the need to fall sleep or just lay there doing nothing. This is the way the body reacts in order to replenish itself; it is trying to heal, as such oxytocin levels go up which means the desire to sleep gets higher. This interesting process was designed by life quite perfectly, for when a man falls sleep or his body is depleted, he is more likely to want to spend time laying next to his partner which in turn helps his partner feel loved and safe. If a man was capable after experiencing a healthy orgasm to simply be all energetic and ready to leave, a woman would feel used and confused, which would not contribute to the building of relationships. Another interesting fact; speaking strictly from a biological perspective; the body pushes for men to sleep after an orgasm so they may wake up rested, ready to protect their partner in case of danger and so he may experience more opportunities of reproduction. This mechanism was specially needed during “hunter/gatherer” times, it is in our cellular makeup which means it is still affecting men today. I hope this helped clarify the difference between a sexually fulfilled man and the one who likes to pretend or sadly doesn’t know any better.

Another common assumption takes place when men see a woman who is superficial, bitter or too puritan about life; they often conclude such woman is not having lots of sex and if she is, it is not the good type. In this case the assumption in most cases is accurate and makes sense, for good sex (sex that is connecting, wild and loving) relaxes women and energizes them while in men it contributes to their mental growth. In other words, good sex contributes to more relaxed women and more mentally matured men, while mediocre sex contributes to frustration or mental immaturity.

A mature man or woman can talk about sex openly, without inhibitions yet always equating it to something beautiful; while a mentally immature man or woman likes to boast about his or her personal conquests and can’t talk about sexuality without turning the topic into something cheap–the way we talk and behave regarding our bodies and our sexuality are often a reflection of what we have or are experiencing.

Semen and the liquids which feed the brain both are the result of the same micronutrients. Micronutrients are essential elements required in varying quantities throughout life to orchestrate a range of physiological functions to maintain health. When a man orgasms, he releases lots of those micronutrients which the female absorbs; that is why she is so radiant and full of energy the next day. The so called afterglow is not in response to the orgasms per se, mostly the result of absorbing micronutrients. Because men’s bodies are designed differently biologically, in most cases they cannot absorb the micronutrients to the same extent females can; they absorb mostly the energy she releases and that can be good or bad depending on who she is at her energetic core. The energy released is responsible for the spiritual part, which means, it is responsible for encouraging or restricting mental and spiritual growth; its is not responsible however for the afterglow.

There are ancient practices which would encourage a man to drink the juices a woman releases when she orgasms in an attempt for him to benefit from the micronutrients. Modernly a man can drink a woman’s juices after performing oral on her; however, let me remind you again that the person’s energy has to be taken into consideration–that which you absorb will either heal you or hurt you.

Semen regenerates every 21 days and it is recommended; for both genders; to consume foods with a high level of micronutrients, such as berries and specially avocado. Avocado is consider by Tantrics a wonderful regenerator.

Analyzing myths: In old times, parents used to say to their children (specially boys) do not masturbate for you will go blind or they used to tell them it was a sin. The motivation for their words wasn’t unfounded but it got twisted, taken out of context or used to control. When a man masturbates too much, he is releasing lots and lots of nutrients which his body needs. That is why it isn’t surprising for a man to later on experience difficulty having an erection or maintaining an erection; it wasn’t that one was to go blind physically but spiritually, for the more micronutrients a person releases without getting anything back in return, the more the “third eye” closes. The third eye is a mystical and esoteric concept, which provides perception beyond ordinary sight. Physically it is located in the center of your head, parallel to the middle of your eyebrows. Science has proven this ancient concept of the “Third eye” as true, add to that the fact that it physically does exists.

Aside from severing your connection to your third eye, if you masturbate compulsively and without knowing how, you are depleting your brain and body. That is why people who masturbate a lot, tend to expose a slower mechanical thinking process. Tantra recommends for a man to cut all sex out of his life if he needs to focus on a project; assuming that person relatively has a healthy sexual life; the advice is not the same if the person has not experienced sexuality in a long time–it’s all about balance. When a healthy sexual man gives up sex for a period of time, he gains access to all his micronutrients and his imagination, energy and concentration reach peak potential. It has been scientifically proven a man can become up to 3 times more productive when abstaining from sex; this is why Tantra recommends periods of sexual abstinence, not only for men but for women as well.

Men who sleep with various women, mentally often see themselves as if they were “Superman” yet all the while they are depleting their body, mind and soul and getting nothing back in return. How then, can a man benefit from sexual experiences? Through rapport.

When a man has sexual intimacy with one or two partners (if within a polyamory lifestyle) whom he has rapport with (no lies, no secrets, they know each other’s history; the good and bad of each other) he has the opportunity to get back energy he lost. Polyamory is NOT promiscuity; if confused on the terminology, please read my article on “Polyamory and Soul Sexual”.

If a man has had good quality sex with his partner (s) whom he has real rapport with, then the energy he will get back will be nutritional energy. This is why rapport is extremely important; when one has real rapport with another person, chances are when being intimate, no condoms will be used (both will be aware of any physical or health problems and make mature choices. Women please use birth control if not trying to conceive or at the very least learn your cycles. If you are a female and don’t believe in birth control, it is your responsibility to let your partner know beforehand) When no condoms are used women absorb all nutrients; eventually she will give back creative energy to her man. That is why sleeping around doesn’t pay off, the amazing power of the orgasm and its nutrients get lost and literally thrown away.

When a man experiences quality sex and orgasms; although he is depleted physically; he will get his energy back through the actions of his partner. When a woman is sincerely satisfied and full of nutrients, she automatically feels the desire to connect by taking care of him, nurturing him; physically and emotionally–that is how a man gets creative energy back and why it doesn’t pay to go hopping from bed to bed.

Semen and vaginal juices are a great antidepressant when used appropriately (if the depression is mostly chemical) and a great source of vitamins. Unlike when men drink the juices of a woman, drinking the juices of a man instead of absorbing them through the internal walls, does not have the same effect; the nutrients need to be against her vaginal walls and if you are into anal, against the anal walls. The vaginal and rectal linings are very absorbent, so either one is a viable route for soaking up the nutrients.

Anxiety. Semen and female juices contain mood-enhancing compounds like oxytocin, progesterone, estrone, serotonin and melatonin. Oxytocin is also known as the “cuddle hormone” because when released, it makes people feel more affectionate and connected. Progesterone has been shown to have anti-anxiety characteristics. Estrone piggybacks on serotonin to help enhance moods, and melatonin helps relaxation to occur.

Mood enhancement: A study found people who received regular quality loving on a regular basis were happier and less suicidal than those who didn’t. Researchers believe it is because of the natural juices mood enhancement factors.

Longevity: this might be hard to swallow, but yes, male and female juices can make you live longer. Spermidine (originally isolated from sperm, hence the name) when absorbed has been proven to dramatically increase the lifespan by as much as 20 percent; same goes for females juices when ingested.

Cognitive functioning: Male and female juices, in addition to being an antidepressant, an anti-inflammatory and an antioxidant, are also known to help stop the brain from aging. Nerve growth factor, which is very abundant in semen and female juices, are vital for maintaining the brain’s neurons. Neurons process and transmit information; they’re what make your brain work.

Nutritional benefits: Semen and female juices are full of zincpotassiummagnesiumcalcium, and citrate. The nutrients get absorbed in your body like a less expensive super vitamin shot.

I hope by now you can better understand the benefits of vital energy and why you need to be responsible with it; you want to make sure the energy you are giving, absorbing and ingesting is WORTH integrating.

Tantric teachers have tried to show us the path, they tried to let us know that in order to experience the most profound levels of sexual ecstasy and explosive orgasms, we must be willing to release, even if only temporarily, the drive for quick orgasms and surrender to a quest for self-discovery and healing. Healthy sexuality should not be taboo, instead it should be used as the healing and powerful expansion tool life intended it to be.

“When we practice sacred sexuality we are working with cosmologically rooted principles, balancing the heavenly yang (male energy) of the universe with the all-knowing, life-giving yin (feminine energy) of the earth within ourselves.”
― John Maxwell Taylor

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By Sofia Falcone

I passionately believe one person can make a difference. I write from my own experiences and interests. It is my greatest hope that by writing about my own challenges, victories, hopes and learnings, others may feel inspired to believe more in their inner power and to fully embrace themselves!


  1. You are right dear Sofia. We must excite the mind first. If someone can make you smile, laugh and take you dancing. We can find the ambrosia of emotions. Sex is wonderful but we need to make the journey to sex. Tempting and wonderful. Outstanding thoughts shared.

    Liked by 2 people

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