Reclaiming My Spirit

**Rough copy

I sit by the fire, wine touches my lips
Tonight, it is more my enemy than my ally
Suddenly my body feels as if on fire
Memories fly as if propelled by a hurricane

My body aches, 
My mind wonders,
My soul cries,
There is something missing...
I cannot breathe

I get undressed 
Hanging my sorrows and fears on a chair
My demons like to embrace me naked
My burning desires clash against the whirlwind of my mind

I lay on the bed...yearning
I feel the softness of the silk against my skin
Life decides to replay its daily movie
Innocence, dreams, life, pain
Anger, seduction, love, desire
A bitter film that hurts yet energizes

Such stubborn nature lies within my heart
I want to know everything
I dig deep and incessantly 
Seeking to unite
Seeking to ignite
Yet life can be so confusing 
With maggots searching to eat every sign of life.

Maybe they sense parts buried long ago
I seek to understand
Maybe the truth is darker than the abyss I often stare at
Here I go again wondering
Forgetting what lies inside
Burning angel...
Haunted eyes...
Phoenix rising...
Light that shines...

What can I say? 
I am but a walking enigma 
I lack conformity 
Full of rebellion I seek to liberate my spirit
Imposed chains
Promises made

I wish to live my dreams
Fulfill desires not labeled as sins
To grow, to expand 
Shameless and divine.

I wish to absolve the guilt of my confused heart
To submerge my heart in joy, giving in to my nature
I seek to dance with my demons tonight
Redeeming my cells from sordid memories
I look around, here I am still...
Silk against my body
Wine upon my lips.

Naked I dream  of lips taking mine
A gentle touch upon my neck
Fingers slowly sliding down my spine
Cooling water to my burning fires

I stand to feel the coolness of the ground
Hoping to re-center my mind
I feel as I imagine would a lonely guitar
Seeking to be stroked
Seeking to feel alive
Yearning to play sweet melodies I hide inside

I stand and walk in front of the mirror
Once more those eyes
Noble, timid, daring, faded eyes
Seductive, lively at times
Eyes which often try to forget what's hidden inside
Seeking to escape the labyrinths of the mind
I seek to find my essence within those brown eyes
Finally....there you are!

Turn me deaf to hateful words
Fill the void with gentle melodies and laughter
Unchained me from my confinement
Set me free

It matters not how strange my dreams are
I want to reach for them regardless
Give me strength
No one to stop me, to shame me or demand "why"

Challenges are but a motor used to ignite life
Take the shackles from my ankles
Once more, let me run wild

I want to feel the cool sand of the ocean
I want to fly
Set me free
Help to reclaim me!

-Sofia E. Falcone-