Butterfly’s Soul

The fire roars in the background as she dresses
Tonight she came here to forget
I see her slowly transform herself
Like a photograph coming to life

I can hear the rain outside my window
I feel my blood distill itself
She is like a wild mythical creature
Dressing slowly and without concern

Slowly she pulls up her stockings
Her shadow against the wall 
She is as fragile as a dove

The candles flicker...
My blood boils
"Just lay a handful of diamonds on the floor"
"A diamond for each scar she holds"
My mind repeats the sordid thoughts

"Fill the room with roses", cries my soul
Let her know she is loved
But money isn't what she seeks 
Nor does she believe in love

"Let me save you beautiful creature"
She looks at me as if she can hear my thoughts
"Our time is over", she declares
I lost, too late

I sit in awe watching her
Her body, my addiction
A conquering ship that crosses tempestuous waters
Deep secret waters which we all carry inside
Secrets and wounds she hides

Her soul full of corrosive trauma
Her trauma adds to her raw beauty
Taking you places you've never gone before

Hidden places locked deep
Unimaginable to the average soul
Hidden from the untrained mind
Hidden from the naked eye
Hidden from those too afraid to face themselves

The room shakes under her commanding steps
Like a Roman conqueror she owns the space
She owns me, yet she doesn't know it

I am the one she rans to, whenever the pain is too great
The hurt must have ran deep today
I am the one she remembers and later forgets

She turns around and smiles
Beautiful, tormented yet full of shine
As if it had been painted by the crying brush of a tortured artist
Only at these moments can I relate to his torture

"Let me save you" cries my heart
Yet my lips won't make a sound
I do not dare utter the words out loud
My heart knows to do so might make this goodbye

She loses her balance as her jersey falls over her breasts
I want to reach for her hand but know that I can't
I can only behold this creature 
Yet her spirit is not mine to save
She made that very clear

A dark jersey to match the darkest parts of her mind
A golden necklace matches her light and detachment
A silk brown scar brings life to her eyes
Yet it chokes her as she smiles

Seven times she wraps the scarf around her throat
Seven laps of pain
Dark shadows...
Red lips...
Dark coal lines highlight her eyes
Tonight she wanted to feel alive

She looks up at me
She raises her eyebrows with pride 
She kisses my face gently
I wish I could taste her lips

She lets you own her body but her soul has no master
Do not get too close for her soul will own you
What a beautiful tortured dream she is

Her eyes look past my walls
She can see all which I hide 
Her gaze reveals the fire inside
"You are beautiful" she says
I look up at her and whisper gently
"Oh, please butterfly let me make you mine"
Finally the words rushed forth
Her lips quiver...
I know she wants to cry
But she stiffens herself and forces a smile

Outside on the street the rain has stopped
She puts on her heels which propel her sensual figure
And after one last look at me 
I hear the resounding door
There she goes...
She is now gone.

I get dressed quickly and run after her
"I love you" cries my soul
Too late, I had my chance
I am faced with the smell of dirt, grass and something more

Her scent reigns strong above it all
The sweet, intoxicating yet delicate scent of her perfume
Her aroma unquenchable regardless of her absence
I should have said everything 
I should have held her and not let go
Just the smell of her perfume brings order to my soul
I live to see you again once more

Sofia E. Falcone