Keys to Tantric Sexuality

Are Neo Tantra and Tantric Sex the same thing? After all, in this day and age Tantra is being portrayed more and more like empty sexual techniques than what it actually entails. Sex and spirituality were always intended to go hand in hand yet Tantra is not sex; in fact sexuality is but a small piece of Tantric knowledge. Tantra is the union of body, mind and soul; as such Tantra could be best defined as the study of energy; this is true, so long as one is practicing authentic techniques.

“Free” sexuality has experienced a lot of popularity in the last years; specially Tantra, as to most it promises prolonged love making, multi-orgasmic pleasure for both men and women, transcendent states of consciousness and deeper intimacy. Superficially, Tantra seems as if it could satisfy our deepest desires…does it? Yes it does, so long as it is taught authentically and not some diluted version created to appease the fever, mass crowds are experiencing regarding Tantra.

Tantra is a whole and complete spiritual system which emerged 3000 to 5000 years ago; this system unveils some of life’s greatest mysteries using the power of our sexual energy and orgasm. Tantra will not “grant you” the answers but it will open up your subconscious by replaying time and time again that which needs attention. Sexual techniques conceive but 5% of the entire realm of Tantric knowledge; as such if what you are looking for is superficial empty sex, you are better off just listening to the countless “Tantric Teachers” who are currently out there.

I discovered Tantra as a child, at a time where sex was taboo. Even though events in my life which took place, made my childhood less than “optimal”, my soul always recognized Tantra’s purity. Tantra is a way of life; not just the Hollywood version many “Tantrics” would like us to believe. I later on came to study Tantra through “Guides”; I did not seek them, they were old and raised with some of Tantra’s purest versions. Teaching Tantra does not require obscure sexual practices or physical touching of pupils; that is, if its real Tantra.

I chose to again “study” Tantra years later; I realized what these new people were teaching simply served my “degree”; real Tantra was not very much part of it. If one modernly wants to experience and learn Tantra, it is hard; as the purest guides (people who actually understand and teach Tantra as it was meant to be) are usually in some secluded parts in Asia, Egypt, South America and some Eastern European countries. For the most part, in the west, Tantra is a forgotten style of living and art.

Currently just about anybody can call themselves a Tantric…why? Because sex sells; specially if it promises great rewards through cheap tricks. Some consider our current society as more liberalized and “progressive”; I like to say, it is empty, full of masks and seeking a quick band aid solution. Real sexual intimacy can’t take place if you are not willing to take the masks off. Modernly people don’t have a clear idea of what Tantra is, much less intimate sexual attraction or intimate sexual energy; due to this ignorance, Tantra has been reduced to merely cheap sex tricks.

Modern “Tantric Practitioners” embrace Neo-Tantra; that “branch” of Tantra (in reality it never existed) that promotes kinky sex, debauchery and does nothing for the mind and spirit. Neo-Tantra is no different than Neo-Gnostics or modern religions; false prophets who either know nothing, don’t understand the original teachings, or manipulate in order to sell–in other words, they don’t want to dive into their darkness and their sensuality to discover who they really are, instead they label their debauchery as sensual and dark. Tantra doesn’t deny the shadow or dark sensual side of a man or woman, but Tantra’s version of it is not at all what Neo- Tantrics are saying it is.

Real Tantra is based on history, lineage (aura matches), soul dissection and veritable results. One can grow while practicing real Tantra; however, if you choose to deviate from the path of discovery and simply stop looking in, Tantra will do nothing…Tantra is not a miracle, it requires work. Tantric sensuality is a sophisticated form of lovemaking which requires consciousness, presence and awareness.

Keys to real Tantra:

Real Tantra recognizes and teaches that by having empty sex too often one exhaust “vital” energy (this energy is not unlimited). The result of exhausting this vital energy best expresses itself through issues with erections, premature ejaculation, sexual dysfunction, cancer, disorders of the nervous system and many others. Tantric sexuality teaches people how to conserve this precious life energy; practicing “mindful continence” which helps build the immune system and can help a person maintain optimum sexual energy into old age without outside help…men learn to orgasm without losing their sexual energy and women learn to have deeper orgasms.

Learning the techniques to preserve and conserve vital sexual energy takes time and discipline. A real Tantric practitioner does not become a Tantric overnight; becoming a Tantric man or woman, requires the same drive and determination as it would take to learn a “precious” skill. Each ancient technique should help transform one’s mind, body and soul.

When it comes to people with deep Traumas, Tantric orgasms tend to gently awaken parts of the subconscious that need to be looked at, by gently pushing them forth through dreams and thoughts which keep replaying themselves throughout the day. In other words, it creates a bridge between your subconscious or higher self and your conscious.


As with everything Tantra, Tantric intimacy involves the harnessing and use of sexual energy. One cannot say, he or she has experienced Tantra, without the conscious control and integration of sexual energy. When pure energy takes place, this level of sexual intimacy can help people become aware of subtle energies within themselves and their partners; Tantric sex teaches us to move energy in ourselves and our partners. The beautiful sensations which arise during lovemaking, become exponentially and automatically enhanced due to the simple addition of consciousness and the expansion of the pure energy build up between those who are practicing it.


One can practice Tantra or have been practicing Tantra with a partner and all of a sudden due to one or both partners withdrawing from intimacy (connection, not sexual intercourse) their sexuality can simply become that…sex. Tantra requires purity of intention, in other words you have to be willing to approach your partner raw…which means you have to be willing to take off the masks and let him or her “see” you.

Tantric sexuality gently pushes or compels people to look at sex differently; it is not a race to the finish line but rather its builds sensuality through rapport (real knowledge of self and partner; acceptance of light and shadow).

When a real Tantric feels compel to explore his or her potential physical match, he or she will conscious or unconsciously drop walls and allow the other person to take a look at the raw self. In that way, they build a deep connection which will be useful for when they are ready to exchange sexual energies; a connection of raw spirit, mind, breath…in other words pure energy. The result when people are willing to “expose” their cores while building “trust”, will be mesmerizing and exhilarating.


Tantra does not request but it demands your authenticity; good and bad. You are to look in and be willing to expose your shadow not only to yourself but to the person you wish to be intimate with. If the person who wishes for the connection or the receiver fail to be open, direct and raw about who they are and their emotions…Tantric sexuality will not take place.

The above keys are more than needed to discover Tantric sexuality or what I call raw sexuality, which can be intense or soothing, yet always fulfilling.

“Sex is like an atom bomb. A potent weapon which fascinates and frightens. We’re afraid to let it loose, yet we all have our finger on the button.”

Zeena Schreck


By Sofia Falcone

I passionately believe one person can make a difference. I write from my own experiences and interests. It is my greatest hope that by writing about my own challenges, victories, hopes and learnings, others may feel inspired to believe more in their inner power and to fully embrace themselves!

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