Sacred sexuality nowadays is often confuse with what is modernly called conscious sexuality; although similar there are important distinctions.
Conscious sexuality is a path of self-knowledge and empowerment, which helps to live sexuality more freely (this does not imply promiscuity, it rather focuses on discarding the guilt most people feel when exploring their sexuality). Conscious sexuality invites you to be more spontaneous and creative with your sexuality while respecting your body and the body of the person you are sharing yourself with. This path begins by questioning everything we have been taught about sexuality and its behaviors, thus making us more responsible for our own pleasure.
This type of sexuality puts the focus on changing the relationship with our own body and rediscovering it as a source of pleasure, without having to constantly rely on external stimuli, fantasies or other people. It means establishing a deeper connection with oneself and with other people and training ourselves to develop the ability to be present and deepen our bodily sensations. To do this, different activities are used, such as breathing exercises, massages, physical contact and movement, verbal communication and active meditations; all with the aim of discovering and to better understand how our own sexuality works.
On the other hand Sacred Sexuality is something more refined, which requires experience and discipline; here is an easy way to understand this: If you start to desire more from your sexuality than just the rubbing of genitals and you start to take minor steps to change how you perceive and utilize sexuality, then you would be at step 1 (we could call that your Bachelor’s degree). Conscious Sexuality would be step 2 (Your Masters degree), while Sacred Sexuality is step 3 (Your PHD).
We can define sacred sexuality as the act through which two human beings come together in an energetic attunement that elevates the material vibration of their bodies; igniting their emotional tone by manifesting love through their union; it naturally suspends the rational logical plane of the mind and transports the couple as a whole, to a dimension that spontaneously connects them with a higher spiritual plane.
**Sacred Sexuality requires training and years of practice, as it is the study and practice of alchemical sexuality; utilizing our body to transcend certain limitations within our mind and spirit. Limitations which were set by dogma or the Maya illusion (false duality). On part three of this article I will get more into the alchemical part of sexuality; those unfamiliar with sacred sexuality might find part 3 of Sacred Sexuality a bit hard to understand, regardless, I recommend you read all 3 parts.
Sacred sexuality is a loving act, which if practiced with full understanding of its alchemy and consciousness, it elevates the four planes of a human being: body, emotion, mind and spirit–helping those who practice it, tune in to their own power, develop their abilities and better understand the mysteries of self and life. However, to experience this, it is essential for people to stop seeing sexuality as an act of physiological tensional discharge or mere genital stimulation.
We can turn sexuality into something sacred through its alchemy, where the four planes being aligned assist the persons to a transcendental experience which allows them contact with the sublime and the divine within and without; in doing so they start the process of awakening the 7 serpents or the 7 paths of Kundalini. Sacred sexuality then, represents the bridge that elevates and expands individual consciousness through a perfect energetic alignment with another person, where a harmonic melody of two instruments is achieved–they are tuned and compliment each other, aiding one another to transcend their own individual limitations and thus access a greater whole or integration of self.
This kind of sexuality is not possible with just a mate but a lover. As explained in previous articles, when Tantra or Sacred Sexuality refers to the term lover, it is not under the same connotation we modernly hold. A lover according to Tantra or Sacred Sexuality is a person who is conscious and seeks to tap to the sublime and sacred within, while experiencing higher degrees of pleasure; as such a lover is someone who knows you very well and vice versa–this does not mean years of “knowing” but rather, someone who knows your inner sanctum…your light but specially your darkness, for it is in knowing your history, fears, mistakes, quirks and so on, where a genuine loving connection can be built.
Love expresses itself through many types and levels, most of us do not ever get past the first levels and yet others confuse the mid levels with false detachment (where in reality they are trying to ran or hide from their wounds but because it is too hard to acknowledge this, they mask it as detachment). Few arrive at the level of detached attachment or illumination.
Love for Sacred Sexuality, is the integral union between two raw beings; it is their rawness that allows them to cross the borders of false ego, to better understand the beauty and power of individuality while remaining connected to everything as a whole. The experience of sacred sexuality from the prism of alchemy, is not defined by a physiologically measurable climax or orgasm; in fact, male ejaculation or female physical orgasm, may or may not be present during the act but in themselves (internal ejaculation is a higher type of orgasm but it requires practice).
The quality of sexual experience between lovers, lies in the possibility of experiencing a deep union with an inner dimension (inner higher self). It represents encountering a step of high vibrational frequency which allows to feel the energetic unity that beats behind the apparent reality (is like being high but through self). It implies entering through the other into a level of greater contact with oneself, and discovering oneself in another level of human experience; where the initial basic sensual pleasure marked by the senses, passes into the background of importance by experiencing an elated intense sexual bliss and spiritual awe regarding the beauty and magnetism of the act of love and life as a whole.
When the encounter between two people is sustained in this dimension of “Sacred” there it remains; a vibratory imprint that is maintained in their respective energy fields exerting a profound effect which lasts beyond the moment of the encounter. That is the seed of love that has been sown in each one–it is not the other who has planted it–but it is oneself who discovers it as something intimate and alive beating within oneself. This is why it is imperative to be careful when choosing a lover; if the lover you have chosen vibrates high (consciousness not false positivism) then he or she would be considered sacred or willing to discover sacred sexuality– then you will benefit from the sexual act and you will gift your lover, other benefits her or she might need to expand self.
Sacred Sexuality like Conscious sexuality requires self knowledge…in other words, it requires you get real with yourself…it is the foundation. Conscious sexuality requires you start practicing the art of introspection, while Sacred Sexuality is when you are familiar and use introspection as part of your everyday life, which means you have met your shadow–not just peeked at it– and are working with it, not against it. Working with your shadow, is a hard process which implies the beautiful but scary process of “dancing with our own mad genius and wounded self”–something few are willing to do, for it means expressing yourself as you truly are, which brings with it an intensity few can handle and others label as weird.
To start practicing conscious sexuality, we have to first know what we think of sexuality itself. We need to reflect deeply on our experiences and focus on ourselves and the uniqueness of our body. It is fundamental to discover who we are and what we like, not what others expect of us or what society finds acceptable or not–for all sexuality is beautiful so long as it is not born out of fear, traumas, or violates your right or that of your lover. A very basic step might be to start asking yourself questions such as: How much do I know about my anatomy, my life essence, or even my genitals? Do I feel connected to my body or do I only use it to attract superficial attention? Am I aware of what provokes my desires? When did my desires originate? Are they born out of love or fear?–that type of self knowledge is essential to connect with your inner fire, to discover what limits you and what naturally connects you with your sexuality, and to integrate these elements into your day to day. These questions may not get you ready for Sacred Sexuality but they will start you on the right path towards a more Conscious Sexuality.
If we learn to open up about ourselves and begin to understand that chanting and positive thoughts alone are not what will help us transcend our own false duality, but rather we will need to put the work and meet our shadow in order to emerge stronger and wiser– perhaps different than what most would expect but at least it will be your real self–then the possibility that we can practice Sacred Sexuality will take place. If we can learn to become lovers rather than slaves or enslavers of superficial sex, we can learn to guide our partners/lovers on the path of physical and spiritual awakening–experiencing a profound transformation that can drastically change your life.
Mere animal sexuality and the energy from which it emanates serves as the foundation for the ideological schemes with which the patriarchal culture has disciplined society. Declaring ourselves to be free by abusing our bodies is nothing but ignorance, for it only feeds the same system one is trying to escape, and adds injury to an already hurt soul. Not surprisingly, those attitudes have only fueled across cultures, the controlling effects of dogma and have reduce Sacred Sexuality to rituals and false ideas, making sexuality taboo.
People’s false relationship with their body is the result of denying the deepest, most secret and sacred areas. Nothing can change as long as we devalue ourselves to mere animals; allowing every person who is willing into our inner sanctum. Nor will we be able to change the limitations imposed by the patriarchal system denying pure sensual and sexual pleasure; a god given right to sublime physical and divine pleasure. We are more than bodies created for empty sex, we are also not here to enslave and castrate ourselves mentally and spiritually so we can exalt dogma. The task is to accept our body as spiritual in an integrated way; that means, sexuality and erotic love need to be accepted as spiritual disciplines; where pleasure and desire are no longer confuse with fleeting or empty lust, a lover is no longer someone whom just warms your bed or provides release, and LOVE is not seen as one path for all, nor equated to one type and one level of love.