Reflection #11 :Compassion Over Self Righteousness

Lately there is much division over various topics, it seems the more people think they know what is good for others, the more passive aggressive or outright aggressive attitudes take place masqueraded under the saying “because I care”. Anyone who tells you we are not facing division, hasn’t seen the number or people whose PTSD, depression and others are escalating; add to this the number of suicides–add to this the senseless fear of being misjudged or mistreated for expressing one’s opinion out loud (expressing not imposing).

Reflecting on this, I experience such sadness, for we forget everyone of us sees the world differently. Every single choice has ramifications, you may not see it that way because some choices may fit your preconceptions or beliefs; however, for those who may believe or think differently in various subjects, they can clearly see the ramifications of those choices…or so they too believe.

We forget we all tend to look for data to support our already predetermined agenda, we do this in big or small ways; anyone who says they have never done this, is outright lying. Every person in this planet has experienced tunnel vision…but the levels to which we are now being exposed to are unprecedented.

We live in a society where the art of debating to try to get to “facts” and “truth” has been lost. In the past, one would witness both sides of an argument being precented, the evidence behind both being properly exposed–from there people would use their discretion.

These days we see more and more, one side being properly presented, while the other is negated the same platforms and is often demonized and negated to present a case and it’s evidence for analysis–not people’s opinions but educated “experts” from both sides. I ask what would happen if in a court of law, only the prosecution had a say?…I guess we would have a need for bigger jails and more executions. It is called a justice system for a reason, which means in order to be just, both sides of an argument have to be presented by experts (lawyers from both sides) and make their case. Why two sides? because every story has two sides. We forget none of us holds the ultimate truth as this is subject to change. Ultimately, I believe if people looked in more and assessed everyone of their choices, they would find some of the things they support do affect negatively others or so these others perceive it that way. Not every one of our choices and beliefs are correct….why? because we are human and we see through foggy glasses…glasses given to us by our own personal history and programming.

The real reality is invisible to the eyes; perhaps you recognize that phrase, as something similar is written over and over again in a little widely known book “The little prince”. What the author was trying to convey, is that what matters the most is invisible to us; things such as practicing true open mindedness, true acceptance, love, strength without bullying, boundaries without dehumanizing ourselves, compassion, kindness…things we cannot physically see and which matters not how much we preach them, if when push comes to shove, you are willing to hurt or relish at the sight of someone being mistreated because they think differently…then you have a serious problem and all the nice words in the world won’t make up for the unhealed wounds you carry inside.

Almost everything that has a beginning has an ending. We are born human, being humane and compassionate are to be developed; although the seed are there, they will either be nurtured or destroyed. What I am trying to say is this, if we don’t nurture our being humane…meaning sympathetic, then we run the risk of losing that aspect of self; this usually happens when we are not capable to differentiate an opinion or belief from the human being themselves. When we fail to understand the validity of difference of opinions, we aren’t nurturing being humane but its opposite.

Energy however, is the one thing that doesn’t end, it just transforms…and we are energy–this means, at any time in our lives, we have the power to transform ourselves into more humane beings or less. For example, the person I was 13 years ago, or even 2 years ago is no longer here. I like to say for the better…in the past, I would have been more victim to the rigid thinking that I knew what was right and wrong, and if it was right for me then it must be right for everyone–immaturity, arrogance, ignorance. I would have probably responded with a more severed attitude to situations I disliked. I used to have the attitude at some point which said “if you are going to enter an argument with me, you better know what the hell you are talking about and not just be repeating things” (false ego vs. secure sense of self) and even further back, I would have this belief “You think you are an asshole, you have no idea. By the time I am done, you will wish you never met me” (false ego/ unhealed wounds being triggered)–see the ignorance of those thoughts? I am not afraid to admit them. We all are ignorant, immature or unhealed in some area or layer of life; those who recognize it, are learning or as Carl Jung would say “those who look in awaken”.

At those times, my heart was in the right place but my way of enforcing my beliefs wasn’t. My immaturity, my own unresolved wounds (of which I still have many) somehow made it okay to think that way. The fact I had knowledge, didn’t mean I had tested it, practice it, understood it and integrated it. The more I healed myself, the more I accepted I am both the sinner and the saint; and that is beautiful and more than ok; the more compassion I’ve developed and the ability to discern when the “sword” needs to be used–and like a Samurai, I learned to recognize the importance of knowing how to use the sword but also be wise enough to know using it should be the last resort.

Scientists, philosophers, etc all have tried to explain the beginning of life, yet no one has gotten close to the answer because we mostly think in limiting patterns; forgetting the magnificent primordial rule: Nothing dies, it transforms. In other words, such a magnificent energy–“divine source”– has no beginning nor end, nor does it think in terms of good or bad. So, if such absolute, great force, which is the one maintaining us alive and will remain existing past our bodies …spirit–if it cannot be properly explained by the greatest minds of all times, are we so arrogant as to believe we have the absolute truth and there is ONLY one path which will makes us “good” citizens? ….just my thoughts.

Words such as absolute, always and should, are really words that express a lack of congruency for nothing remains the same and none of us are the same. We are all connected but we are not all the same, nor think the same and as such won’t behave the same–if we did, we would not be talking about a divine force but a slaving one, which likes to produce mass produced robots.

The only real truth is that everything changes and nothing remains the same; for divinity although constant, is always expressing itself differently. We are part of this life and life will change over and over again; in order to understand its value, we will need to understand that the most valuable things cannot be looked at with our eyes nor quantify with our mind. We may believe something but believing isn’t knowing and knowing isn’t believing…they go hand in hand yet are different–to properly comprehend these requires personal tests and personal self experience, not external.

If you were being treated less than humanly, mocked on, ridiculed and had others putting irrational blame on you for making a personal choice different than most, would that be fair treatment to you?

To understand the reality of our divinity we need to learn to see both sides of ourselves and the coin (the system in which we live in, paradigms, upbringing, etc). We are sinners and saints, we are good and bad, we can be warriors and have been victimized…we are ALL. As I said many times, very few things in this world are black and white. There are people who are monsters in human skin; very few born that way, most made. Let us be careful not to be behaving like the ones we so much judged in history.

When we truly understand we are the student and the teacher–we get off our false “holy than thou” seat, we stop victimizing ourselves and stop apologizing for our existence–in other words…balance. We learn the difference of practicing simplicity over humbleness or humility (both require of you to look down) and we stop being arrogant and inhumane (delusions of grandeur). We start to realize life is a dream, we cannot be detached from life but we should practice unattachment; only then we can submerge to life, be intoxicated by it by choice, not because we are overtaken by the illusion of life (maya illusion).

When we start to learn balance, we learn to stop thinking in rigid terms other than in extreme situations (monstrous acts: rape, terrorism, slavery, senseless murder). We learn to DISCERN when the sword should be used (which won’t be very often). We stop throwing mindless tantrums because someone else won’t do as we say, seeking to satiate our anger and cover our own sense of inadequacy or denial by purposely seeking to hurt others because they think differently than we do.

When we start to learn these things, we start to live not in terms of right and wrong but in terms of what nurtures our uniqueness; for when we nurture our uniqueness instead of seeking to be cookie cut versions–all needing to think the same–we automatically nurture compassion and the right path for us. Someone else may choose a different path, and if that path is different than what is traditional or rightly accepted by society, but in actions (not just niceties) foments individuality of spirit, strength, vulnerability, compassion…then all the more power to you.

Close your eyes, think for a second of how you would feel if someone verbally or physically abused you for thinking differently….feel past your defenses, past your false ego and into your grounded ego or self. Feel past the programming….you don’t like what you see in your mind? you don’t like what you are feeling just imagining that scenario?…..EVOLVE!

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By Sofia Falcone

I passionately believe one person can make a difference. I write from my own experiences and interests. It is my greatest hope that by writing about my own challenges, victories, hopes and learnings, others may feel inspired to believe more in their inner power and to fully embrace themselves!

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