Reflections: 3am Thoughts

The night has come and yet my body feels restless. I feel as if I have been laying here but for a short while, yet as I turn to look at the clock, it reveals it is 3am. My body feels tired, all the stress and gloom and fears finally have taken hold of my heart.

Lately my mind seems to fluctuate, some days I find sweet rest and peace in even the most mundane of tasks, yet others even standing up feels like too much work–I am afraid where these waves of emotion will take me but I can’t stop yet. My body and mind yearn to rest, but is it sleep they seek? Perhaps they seek to be liberated, to stretch themselves past the limitations we impose upon ourselves each and every day.

Unable to do either; be fully present and alert or to fall into the abyss of sweet sleep, I get up and head downstairs. I choose to lay on the carpet and play the sound of the ocean waves; how I miss it right now. I lay my hands gently on my belly and start to take deep gentle breaths. I try to visualize the ocean, imagining the fluttering of the eagles, the feeling of the cool breeze, the soft rocks below my feet. I imagine the sun at sunset and its magnificent colors, I imagine the smile on strangers who like me, get lost admiring the beauty of simple things. Suddenly it hits me, my soul wants to write about love. Why not? after all love can be found within everything, even within a dream that is yet to come.

As I sit ready to type, I imagine all the things that bring joy to my heart; from the little things to the most complex. From the smile of a stranger to the kiss of a butterfly or the sensuality I find when I dance. As I do this, I imagine eyes; eyes have always fascinated me…the window to a soul. I imagine beautiful deep enigmatic yet sincere eyes. Eyes that have known pain but also the highest of joys, eyes that know how to love. Then without trying to, the image of lips comes to me…lips that when smiling invite you in, pure, sensual, real. The rest is just a shadow, as it has been for as long as I can remember….a tribute to love?

Love, tonight I am trapped between the walls of what is present and the realm of dreams, trapped between sadness and bliss, between the physical and the eternal. The hours go by but soon you will be here…you will once more meet me in my dreams, where I will feel the warmth of your skin next to mine. You will meet in my dream, where I will be safe within your embrace. Your kisses full of a love that runs deep, a love so pure and strong that it helps dissipate my fears. Wherever you are love, I know you are asking me to dream of you, then please dream of me too.

Good evening my eternal love,

Yours Always

Sofia