Sometimes things happen in life which may make you question if the path you have chosen is the right path; after all, there are far easier paths to take if one is willing to fit in and stop soul searching and healing. Moments such as these, may make you revert to your old patterns of behavior and you may even question if what you do and what you may be going through is even worth the pain, the hassle and more. You may start to look at your life and wonder if what you do makes any difference at all. Breathe….this feeling too shall pass.
As long as the life you have chosen is the life your spirit calls for, then what you do; no matter how big or small; matters–someone out there needed your voice, strength, joy, wisdom, valor, kindness and even your weirdness, so they too may give themselves permission to be themselves.
Every thought, every feeling and every action modify not only your surroundings but more importantly your own self; this is something epigenetics and neuroscience have been re-discovering. Your choices matter: they matter to you, they are beneficial to you and your well-being; and believe it or not, they are indirectly beneficial to others. So, even though you may think what you do is little in comparison to others, if we look at life and accept the rule of cause and effect, then it is logical to conclude that what you do matters; for every action will have a positive or negative reaction–life is not ever stagnant but in constant movement of contraction and expansion.
With this said, let’s not get lost in concepts of right and wrong as to programming or dogma; instead, if we look at how the universe works–the universe is only a mega reflection of how our inner universe works– or if we look at primordial laws and ancient teachings, we discover life is not concern with limited concepts but goes far beyond good and evil.
What life is concerned about is with your heart’s motivation. It is the intention you set behind every action that matters, is from that intention (cause) that the effect will come to be. For example, if you only help others because you want recognition, then your motivation is not coming from a place of love. If you compare this to let’s say, a person who may not be as charitable on the outside and who may seem imperfect and distant, but when he does see suffering or someone in need of help, etc. does lend a hand because they don’t want that person to suffer–not caring if others provide him with recognition or not–then that person’s motivation far outweighs the first. One could use this rule for many things, lifestyle, romance, family, work and much more. It is not how well your choices fit in with the status quo that determines if they are right or wrong, it is your heart’s motivation.
The above should not be too much of a surprise for us; after all, throughout centuries, sages, prophets, philosophers etc. have been saying the same thing. It is not about becoming rigid with life, trying to earn a badge while inside we become resentful, it is about flowing with the unique truth in our hearts and honoring that, whether others understand it or not.
We are responsible for our own thoughts, for these may not be our heart but they do rule the material world in which we live. As such, when you doubt yourself or you are angry about something or someone, feel it, then rule it by understanding it: what does it have to teach you? Does the lesson require of you to modify your path? –if it does and it is for the better (serving your unique calling) then great. If it doesn’t serve you, then don’t deny it– feel it, integrate it and let it go.
We all doubt ourselves at one point or another, and we all get sad, scare and angry at one point or another. We all have made mistakes at one point or another; understanding this is what will prevent you from let’s say going from annoyance at something or someone to committing an action that may be harmful to another and to your own growth. None of us are perfect, we all fuck up at some point and we all make choices others out there won’t understand–again it comes down to motivation. Focus on your motivation, give what you want to receive back from life and life will give it back to you; not based on what you do or don’t do outwardly but based on your heart.
To live consciously or be “awake”, does not equate to the ability to chant niceties but to live with introspection instead of living on “automatic” mode. To live with introspection is to learn to ask of ourselves about the real motivation behind our actions. Even when we set boundaries, give warnings, severe relationships, etc.–what is the motivation behind it? If your motivation is pure and not based on actually wanting to hurt someone, then listen to it. If your motivation is to cause harm, then don’t listen to it. For example: If a pacifist chooses to live that way because he or she does not want to rock the boat and be displeasing, then even though being a pacifist may seem “virtuous”, the motivation is not pure nor clean. If a soldier has no other option but to take the life of another in order to save innocent lives, then that soldier’s motivation is in the right place. As you can see then, when we look at motivation this way, we are no longer dealing with limited parameters of “right” and “wrong” as taught by most of society.
For me, the easiest way I am coming to learn to gage my motivation is by how it leaves me feeling. Do I feel happy, or do I feel ashamed? Do I feel at peace or do I feel afraid or wrestles. Another thing I am learning more and more is not to deny my pain nor hide my anger (remember that allowing the emotion of anger to flow and acting on it, are two very different things) — I am also learning to show grace to others when they make mistakes, for I too have made them, and I am sure I will make many more. Mistakes are not patterns of behavior and that is the big difference. Sometimes when someone does something that hurts or bothers us, the best thing to do, is to bring it up to their attention, and the same if we do something that hurts or bothers others–it’s about learning to use our voice saying “Hey what you said/did bothered me because…. –I would appreciate it if you didn’t do it again”. Most of the time this will be sufficient, for most people are not looking to purposely hurt another.
To go back to the beginning of what this article is about…. you will have good days and bad days; despite it all, when the storm within has settled, listen to your heart and listen to your experience–when combined you are listening to your wisdom, and that is what it means to live consciously.