Sweet Sinner

(Rough Copy)

I remain enigma even to myself
I try so hard to dance with the roaring phoenix inside
But now it demands to lead...
To expand its wings and take flight.

Its thirst still not satiated
Sometimes I tremble at the horrors it hides
Sometimes its pain and desires melt into one
Who will listen, if no one really knows my heart.

Like a nocturnal flower in the shadow, I stand
Wishing to be opened the way the moon succumbs to the sun
My spirit but a mountain where I dream of divine things
Things which others would label sins
Yet the ancient ones know this to be a lie
For ecstasy should never have to hide.

I am the grief that gives away hope
Little is reserved for me
For who will listen, if no one really knows my heart
Who would dare to look at the horrors and not run?

Shameless I am called, 
For my scarlet letter I proudly carry
Refusing to let them numb and cage me
I rather burn with passion than bow.

For to live like a zombie is not life at all
If that is my only choice, then death I welcome gladly
But the phoenix inside me won't let me die
It wishes to ignite the world on fire
The fire of what is wild and divine. 

Nights of creation followed by eyelids heavy as steel
Yet the fires roar with fury blinding me to sleep
Even the silence avoids the fire within
Insomnia still rules supreme.

My body burns with every desire written by poets
Branded I am by their muse 
The one who guides my words
The one who refuses to be silenced
The one who now demands to be released.

"If only for a little while" she says
Let us be free without inhibitions then you will rest
Her offer but the drug my very being craves.

I am but a flower of innocence mixed with the froth of vice
The warrior inside needs to rest
It is time for the Goddess to rise 
The exotic queen that dares 
The one many want but most fear.

Like a divine vampire I want to drink the waters of life
Let me satiate my thirst as I soothe the pain inside
As the sail rises, I want to ride the waves
Until there is nothing left of cravings
Only holy sinners intertwined.

I shall be the aurora rising from a shadowy bed
Where the silhouette is all, I wish to remember
Memories sealed with passionate kisses
Why kill these with questions of what could be
When I know I will remain the wounded butterfly
No master for me
No chains but my own, to showcase my strength. 

Let me enjoy a wild night full of everything that is forbidden
Let me rock at the shock of my cave being entered
So fierce is the phoenix that burns within
A raging fire that consumes my every cell
Demanding the dark phoenix to rise
"Fear me not" I will bring you back to life.

How could I not want to lose myself in her fire
When through my veins runs freely blood that is wild
How could I not want to lose myself in her fire
For she is oxygen to my dying lungs.

Why should I fear my own nature?
Have I not paid enough?
I am but a saintly sinner
Loved dearly by what lies inside.

Let the sacred wood burn inside me
Let me enjoy the sweet anihilation of love
Le my shadow enjoy my savage soul
Let me be weak for a night
Let me my body be conquered with sweet delight.

Let me wake happily exhausted
Let my skin smell of sexual ether
My hair disheveled like a hurricane
My bossom firm and tender branded by a kiss.

Let the apocalypse of my body come
I want to be rebuilt
Let love burn through its sweet seed
And if bliss is a sin
Then tonight, I shall be reborn a sinner. 

Sofia E. Falcone